Sleeping with the Light On

I've got so many things to worry about and I really should be working on them, but right now I just can't seem to get myself together and get started. My head's too much of a mess right now. So I'm hoping that typing it out here might be therapeutic and help. Or I'm just finding an excuse to procrastinate. Probably the latter, I'd say.

Exams are finally over. But that relaxed feeling that usually comes with is absolutely no where in sight. and I really don't think it's gonna show itself anytime soon. My biggest worry at hand right now is definitely my biology extended essay. I really don't want to be doing my experiment on plants. As much as I love mother nature and the outdoors, plant science is absolutely a bore. However hard I try, I just can't get myself to be interested in the ways that plants go through light dependent and independent reactions in the thylakoids and the stroma to make molecules of ATP. And I can't be doing my experiment on what I'm most interested in either; genetics. And I would want to do something about the brain and impulses but I can't see how I can without possibly harming little animals. So I now I think I'll experiment about bacteria, which I think might get pretty interesting. But now. Where ON EARTH do I find bacteria such as E.Coli. And I need to be able to inform Mrs. Ghosh by Friday. This is not good ._. Not to mention I've got Chem, Bio, Econs work due on Friday. And I've got my German oral test on that day too. And I haven't got much time to do it as I'm attending RIA tomorrow.

And breathing suddenly gets harder.

You know what I hate?
No, of course you don't. Then again, you might. But chances are, you don't. Unless you know me that well, but I'm afraid you don't.
But I hate the fact that I'm still afraid of the things that I was afraid of as a younger kid.
Like. I still get slightly creeped out when I have to turn off the lights before having to sleep alone. My imagination play the worst games with me sometimes and it really messes with my head.
And I'm also still afraid of butterflies. Yeah, there, I finally said it out loud (not literally, or that'd be pretty weird right now). I really don't know why am I afraid of butterflies. I tried reasoning myself out of it. But nohp, I still run for my life every time the colourful glimpse of that dainty creature comes my way. It's frustrating cause the movements of a butterfly is so impossible. Never know where they want to go. Wish they had bloody signal lights.
Well, at least I'm not afraid of flushing toilets now. I used to be. I hated the loud sound it makes. I would flush the toilet and make a run for the door. That probably made me a runner. There you go, a silver lining.

Oh look, a picture.
Yeah, headed up to Perlis right after my exams for a frisbee tournament last week. Came in 4th, which isn't too bad seeing how we only had 9 players, then our captain had to leave during the quarter finals then almost all of our remaining guys got injured. The players in my team were really good though, made me feel like a worthless pea. But I guess that's how you learn, by being with the better ones. Had tons of fun though, getting to know them. Glad I agreed to play with them and tag along.
And I'm just happy that I now have a new red disc. RED! (:


I get this feeling that I'm growing up way too fast. And I desperately want to cling on to everything I used to know as it slowly slips away. Some things I'm just not ready to let go off.
But something tells me that it's high time I do.
But as of right now, I want to remain completely stubborn and I'll let reality punch my brain sometime soon. Just not right now.