What time is not a good time to be blogging? This time, right now.
When I'm sleep deprived. and have got lots of things to do and lots to worry about. Like my SATs this saturday. IOC this Sunday. EE first draft due next week. University applications, haven't even started with that. German written assignment. TOK presentation. and of course, the other bits of homework a student would get.
Well at least I've got my Math IA and my practice IOC behind me now. Knowing that, I still don't feel much better though. But I think it's mainly cause I'm lacking sleep and I've been on autopilot. Feel like a no-brainer. And, also, I feel really annoyed. At the pile of work I haven't done(and yet look at what I'm doing now), at the deadlines that I need to meet soon, at the fact that I am not doing anything productive right now, at my lack of efficiency when it comes to time, at people, at myself.
And I just want to take a piece of paper, take a pen and scribble really hard on it and jam the pen on the paper making dots and holes and constructing grammatically wrong sentences and then scrunching the paper up into a horrible deformed ball while shouting and then throwing the paper as far as I can and then getting really frustrated at the fact that the distorted ball of paper I just threw with all my might didn't even go really far and I will feel like that's some sort of analogy of my life about how I try and not get results so I go pick the paper up again, flatten it out and fold a paper plane with hopes that it will fly better and further this time and I throw it again but yet this time, it just goes completely off track not even towards the general direction I was throwing at because I can't even remember how to frecking fold paper plans anymore which will then make me feel completely and utterly useless and helpless and I look for a corner to crawl into and cry but I'll soon realise that there isn't even an available corner in my room or the house where I can cry so I'll just lie on bed.
Longest sentence I've ever written. I had to lock punctuation out of the house for a while. But stop all your panicking, I've invited it back in and it's sitting on the couch right now.
Hah this is ironic.
Due to constant statements by couple of friends on how my blog's been left for spiders to secrete silk from their behinds to form a web, I've been meaning to blog.
In mind, I had two things to blog about.
1. My summer hols (I even have a draft from before school started, might publish it)
2. My birthday celebration (probably will get to that cause I feel the need to address my appreciation to all my amazing friends)
And they were both positive topics too!
But nohp! I somehow ended up talking about paper planes instead. I really need to fold proper ones though. Fcking things.
I think right now, what I need is sleep.
So sleep I shall.
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