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Nature study will show you how full of beautiful and wonderful things God has made the world for you to enjoy. Be contented with what you have got and make the best of it. Look on the bright side of things instead of the gloomy one.
But the real way to get happiness is by giving out happiness to other people. Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best. 'Be Prepared' in this way, to live happy and to die happy - stick to your Scout Promise always - even after you have ceased to be a boy - and God help you do it.
Your friend,
Baden-Powell
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I'm a huge fan of quoted words/song lyrics, clearly shown by the hugely vandalized front cover of my Bio notebook and the inside of my pencil case. But this one, at the top, is probably my all time favourite. BP's last message to his fellow scouts. He's the founder of the Scout movement, not some creepy old guy who wrote letters to boys.
But the real way to get happiness is by giving out happiness to other people. Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best.
Ever since reading it, I try living by that those two lines. Especially the underlined parts. I wouldn't put in the effort to underline it for nothing. Hah, which reminds me, when I was younger (not by much, just a couple of years ago), I was almost convinced that I was going to die young. And every time I'm in a situation where I think I might die (eg. being in a car where the driver's being an idiot with the speed or being in a plane. Yes, I've got a knack for thinking of worst case scenarios), I kinda close my eyes and pray to whoever incharge and listening (let's call this person God) to not take my life away just yet. Cause I don't think I've made the world any better. Well, I wasn't exactly aiming to make the WHOLE world better. But at least someone's world. Or a few someones. Or a dog. A cat. Whatever. Though speaking of animals, this is why I don't kill ants. Cause this stupid kid inside me would like to believe that it's part of making a difference. A small microscopic piece of the ''big picture''. Cause if it was some other person instead of me, the ant's probably dead. Jyen the Ant Saver. Yeah. Not too glamorous huh. But I guess, in some silly way, it serves as a self-reminder that I shouldn't stop doing things that don't matter to other people, if it matters to me. Not sure if that made any sense now written in words..
Think I got slightly side tracked there. Let me steer myself back on track.
And I'm back. Cue long paragraph.
I think recently, over the past couple of months maybe (or longer?), I started to loose track of myself, forgetting those two lines that I've been holding on to. Perhaps maybe even on purpose. I started smoking weed and got slightly addicted to them cigs. It's pretty amusing, how easily accessible weed is in Penang. These things come in small packages too, which makes it easy to hide. Okay, I'm kidding. No weed, no cigs. I sidetrack alot because I find it difficult to be expressive like this. But anyway. Here's the anti climax to the weed and cigs. I think I've always had the patience to handle my annoyance and frustration. And I don't know what triggered it, but in these few months, I started adapting this ''hands up and off'' attitude. And I have to admit, it felt pretty liberating cause I've never been like that. I kinda dismissed many things and stopped attending to things I've been attending to. Okay maybe I do know what triggered it. Maybe. Maybe because prior to this, I subconsciously felt emotionally responsible for a few people. It's not a bad thing, I guess, cause that's what happens when you build relationships, right? People sort of become emotionally dependent on one another. I'm like that too. But I felt kinda ''emotionally stressed'' cause I had to watch everything I say and do, and also what I DON'T say and do. And that just made me so itchy inside. It was annoying, cause pleasing one person seemed to displease another. Felt so bloody restricting. So I gave up trying. And that seemed to displease everyone. For once, I kept my hands off and I kicked my responsibility aside. Probably the most selfish thing I've ever done (other than the time I refused to share any of my chocolate with my baby cousin brother). But daaaaaaaaamn. It was nice for a while. But I think it caused some sort of chain reaction. So I continued being selfish, almost completely on a I-do-as-I-like basis with minimal effort on anything else. I adapted that with my studies too. Hardly did anything. Horrible timing for both, with the year coming to an end and my exams horrifyingly near.
So I guess. Not handling things is not a good way to handle things.
Think it's high time I collect myself and get my act together again. There must be some sort of compromise. It's gonna take alot of effort though. Here comes a whine. Nyeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Jyen the Ant Saver will find her way back. and hopefully learn how to cook on the way. Maybe. Okay I guess the cooking bit wasn't too realistic.
To try to leave this world a little better than I found it.
Right, okay. I've got this.
