Kau Ilhamku

Manbai's 'Kau Ilhamku' has just been stuck in my head for the past week and I don't know why. I'm not even sick of it yet.

Part of me kinda wish I never came back to Malaysia. But I guess that wouldn't solve anything. That'll just be avoiding everything. But. They say that ignorance is bliss?

I wouldn't say life sucks right now. I actually think I'm pretty damn blessed with everything I have. But in a lot of ways, my summer break just hasn't been turning out to be what I expected/wanted it to be. Ugh, this is why I hate having expectations. I'm at my peak and my worst at being a person in my 20 years of living- idk how that works. I was never this good at being a daughter (and sister?) but I've never been this bad at being a friend/girlfriend (I'd hate to think I've been worse). I wish I could blame it all on circumstance, but really, I've got a part to play in this as well. 

But in other mind-distracting news, I've been working with a bunch of 11/12 year old kids, choreographing and teaching them a dance for a flash mob they'll be doing next week. It's hours of practice but these kids can be so damn adorable. I offered to cut down our 4 hour practice tmrw to a 3 hour practice but they all went ''NOOOO!''. Nawh (: I think they laik meh.

I've also got my Cambodia trip with Nic + my week with my Penang friends to look forward to. I'm so excited for both. High time I spend some time doing whatever I waaant. But it sucks to know that a whole other part of summer that I was looking forward to, I can't look forward to anymore. 

Nic says I should just not get into a relationship in the near future. Sounds like a solid plan.

Also. Why do I even blog. 

Anyhoo, I'm ending this post with a unflattering photo of high school me cause I need something to laugh about.

Not sure if I was about to sneeze or is that just my default pay-attention & what-is-science face.

'   izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu.