Do You Know..

..how it feels like living in a cave. 

Cause boarding here sure as hell feels like one.

Ahaa, i joke.

cause I would at least have some freedom in a cave. A cave would probably feel warmer and cosier too.

If you feel like a lengthy whiny rant is coming up, then you're damn right. Though it probably isn't very smart to rant out here. Cause this blog is public. But. To hell with it. I can't be bothered right now. Though I might regret this. I'll deal with that later. But right now, I feel like being a whiny female dog.

So, really, I wouldn't read the following rant if I were you. cause it's lengthy. and I might come off as mean, but I'll try to filter my thoughts. Currently not having a very strong filter though.
and I'm also currently on a f-word fast, so if you do go on reading and see the word ''beeping'', you can guess what the word might represent.

So anyway, I got myself into trouble with the Head of Boarding or HOB (he never lets anyone forget that, that's he is duh BOSS. Men with egos. ugh. Insecure) yet again. By coming back 5 minutes late. Gotta admit that that was definitely my own fault. I should've known better and left earlier, learning from past experiences.

But then, I was questioned on who I was out with.

and also whether my friends are from uplands. He asked that twice too.
Well, unless I came back high/drunk/naked, it's really none of your beeping business on who I'm hanging out with. Plus, what the hell, I don't know about you, but I have a social life. So naturally I would have friends that are not from uplands.

I mean, yeah, I get that you're supposed to be ''taking care'' of us, but seriously, beeping back off from my personal life.

And for someone who's dealing with kids, you're too insensitive.

From what I heard, boarding used to be cozy and warm. Till you waltzed in. More like marched in.

I understand that it's your job to be watching over us like a parent, but you're nothing like a parent. You run the place like a beeping military camp for goodness sake. I never feel welcomed when I get back to boarding. and it's even worse when you're around, cause there's this negative aura that just hangs around you. The number of times that you smile, which in my opinion reaches a negative value, doesn't help either.

At first I thought, maybe it's just me being sensitive and irrational. 

But. I came to realize. The adults don't really fancy you either! so I'm definitely not alone in this boat.

& really, I see how you handle the house parents. And I think they deserve more respect than you give them. Keeping in mind that most of them have been here much longer than you have. 

And I find it a lil sad and pathetic, that you're always so desperate to be acknowledged and you find it such a beeping joy when you get to show your authority.

I know I might come off as rude when talking to you cause I always give 1-2 word answers. But then again, I don't see reason in saying anything else to you, learning from previous conversations.

Like if you were to ask why I'm late, I know whatever I say or however I try to explain myself, your definite answer is gonna be, that's not an excuse. 

Or if I apologize, you'll say, don't say something you don't mean.

So I really don't see a reason in explaining anything to you at all. It just gives you the chance to satisfy your great beeping desperation to show power.

And just now you said I was being inconsiderate by coming back late cause I kept the matron awake. Though really, I was late by 5 minutes, you don't have to make it sound like I came back at 2am. & I wasn't being inconsiderate on purpose, not like I deliberately lined up every beeping car in penang and caused a jam. But fine, I do take the blame for that, for being late. But hah, you calling me inconsiderate. I find contradictive people funny. So that makes you beeping hilarious. What a comedian, really.

Like today, when my bestfriend called and you can clearly tell by my face that the conversation was a very personal, intense and serious one. The call lasted throughout the whole lunch time, so Steph kindly got the canteen lady to pack my lunch. Insignificant issue, no?

No. Apparently I can't pack lunch cause I was there. I think that's just beeping down right stupid. Not like I was sitting around wasting my time, I had personal issues to deal with. Yeah, you're beeping considerate all right.

Uh oh uh oh, you treat the kids like beeping dogs too! Like I saw Ohm(this small boy, about 10 maybe) running towards the bus from the field, and when he was about to run pass you, you grabbed his arm, stopping him, and firmly said one single word to him. Walk.

WHAT the beep was that about?!

You're 2 faced too apparently. Like once when you had your regular monday meetings about boarding with the admin, you told them about my housemates sprinting back to make it in time for curfew but were one minute late, and how you ''laughed at them''. Hah. Bullshit. The smile that you never put on was turned upside down and you gave them a freaking lecture. Then again, maybe that's your form of laughing. Cause we've established that you're hilarious.

I really like your emails to my mum too. Always sounding so ''friendly'', calling her Jyen Yiee's mum. I don't know whether it's just me or all your emails always sound like you want me to in trouble with my mum. Hoping to give her hints that I've been doing things behind her back, asking questions like, are you aware of this? Are you sure about this?

Female dog, please. I'm close to my mum and I tell her everything. But you can go on trying.

All in all, (oh ho, yes, I'm actually coming to an end, though really, I can write volumes if I wanted to) I wouldn't say I HATE YOU, though I practically wrote an essay about the not so nice things about you. Cause I don't think any of the things you do are in spite or personal attacks. I just wished you can handle things better. much better. and perhaps in a friendlier manner. and seriously put that stupid beeping ego down. Ugh, men. And I heard you're leaving too. Might be a good idea to try to leave with a good impression, and not the ones I currently have in my head.

Well good thing about you is, you get things done very fast and you're reliable in that sense.

& the best part of you is, definitely your wife. Always vibrant and friendly.

I'll miss her, really.

What the hell. Why can't I write like this when it come to proper essays.