Hidden Track

''Woo, gonna get me some rest'' ''Yes, I get more time to work on my EE and IA'' was the first thing on my mind when I allowed to come back home from school early, being annoyingly sick.

What a nerd.
I think watching that boring video in Econs this morning probably made it worse.
Economists need to learn how to make interesting presentations.
The speaker could've been speaking in French, wouldn't make a difference to me and how much I understood.

Coming back early was completely counter-productive anyway.

Cause I ended up having a nap all the way till 2pm.
At least that got rid of the headache. But I still have everything else.

Thought I'd watch some youtube vid while having lunch.

So instead of fun mood-lifting stuff, I watched a documentary about human trafficking.
So now I'm really sick. and depressed.

If you're reading this, you should watch the documentary too.

It's really your responsibility to, now that you know about it.
Sorry to just give it to you like that. Okay no, not sorry at all. Don't be an ignorant walker of earth.
It's 25 minutes. Eat some dinner while watching or something. I hope it'll slap your conscience like it did mine.
And maybe you'll also realize that Jared Leto kinda looks like a cross breed between Johny Depp and the guy from High School Musical.

 

I don't know what's up with 2013.

It's only been slightly over a month.
But it's been bombarded with eye-opening experiences.

By eye-opening, I really mean brain ripping cause I'm suddenly starting to realize so many things.
I can't decide if ignorance really is bliss?

But I guess getting conscience-slapped is always a good thing. Gonna prepare myself for more to come.

Btw, Jehneht, got your message.

Naww, I missed you too.
Maybe tomorrow when I'm class, you'll get those Chem calculations right, cause I'll resume my role of the math dungu ;) x

Basket Case

(If you're wondering about the title, it's only because song titles are always my blog titles and that was the first song that popped into my mind, thanks to your concert)

Okay, I know it totally slipped my mind until about an hour ago.
The day's almost over.

And I feel horribly bad about it.

 

And also, you think I'm finally gonna go to bed before 12.

But I don't feel too bad about that. Heh.

 

But anyway,

HEHPEH BURDEHH, BRYCE S. JOHNSON!

(I wrote your full name so in the future when you google yourself, being the vain-ass you are, it'll lead you here)

 

Because they say pictures say a thousand words

(And also due to the fact that I don't have time to write much anyway, considering how the internet's gonna cut off in a few minutes),

here's six thousand words.

Okay, only because Joo doesn't seem too happy with all these pictures of you.

I'll present a rather decent one.

There you go (:

Happy birthday again, Bryce!

Hope you have an amazing year.

Remember, I'm always all (e)ars.

And, I'm still on the lookout for the perfect prostitute for you, don't you worry ;)



Empty Your Hands.

2012 went by pretty fast.

But yet rather slow too. Extremely eventful.

I'm just proud that I went through it all, with my head above the water.

I don't know how I feel about 2012, really.

But I think I see it like a mentor. Not a very easy-going one though.

Been through alot, learned alot, laughed alot, shed my share of tears.

2013.

To be honest, I'm slightly intimidated by it. Cause I know it's gonna be challenging.

But yet I'm pretty excited. Cause it's gonna be filled with new experiences too.

Resolutions?

Nothing overly specific I guess.

Nevermind, Janet just reminded me that I have to go to the butterfly farm. 

And face my fear. 

Stupid stupid fear.

WHICH I WILL CONQUER. *trumpets*

Besides that, I just wanna have the strength to face the challenges that 2013 holds.

To really embrace 2013 with all it's excitements, adventures, challenges, emotional roller coasters.

So happy New Year, y'all.
Believing that it's gonna be great, will make it great.
That's what I think anyway.
It is all about perspective, after all.

--------------------------------------------------------
It's so nice to be celebrating the new year with my whole family. Been quite a while since we did that.
Love (:

(but not so great that I accidentally wished my brother Happy Birthday instead of Happy New Year)

Big Jet Plane

Know what my problem is?

I'm completely passionate but yet absolutely not passionate.

I'm passionate about life and learning everything there is to learn.

But I'm not passionate about any of the things I'm learning like economics or math or language or science.

I don't know what I want to do with my life :/

and I'm at a point where I need to decide what I want to spend my next few years learning.

and I'm just clueless.

Absolutely clueless.

But I think I might end up doing Biology. Hope to find some sort of crossbreed between bio and psychology. Hmm :/

Anyway, was working on my CV in the library and everything was going smooth until I had to write down my personal skills. And I got stuck. I never know what to write when it comes to talking about myself. So Morgan came over and we came up with quite a fine piece of writing, if I may say so myself.

Everything is Sound.

So..

..I just purchased pepper spray online. 

WOOO
Spontaneous. 

But always wanted to get one.

And now I will.

I think it's the IB stress getting to me.

But OH WELL, I'VE GOT PEPPER SPRAY NOW(soon). 

Can't wait to carry it around like a gangstuh.

I feel like Mulan right now.

A Hard Day's Night

What time is not a good time to be blogging? This time, right now.

When I'm sleep deprived. and have got lots of things to do and lots to worry about. Like my SATs this saturday. IOC this Sunday. EE first draft due next week. University applications, haven't even started with that. German written assignment. TOK presentation. and of course, the other bits of homework a student would get. 

Well at least I've got my Math IA and my practice IOC behind me now. Knowing that, I still don't feel much better though. But I think it's mainly cause I'm lacking sleep and I've been on autopilot. Feel like a no-brainer. And, also, I feel really annoyed. At the pile of work I haven't done(and yet look at what I'm doing now), at the deadlines that I need to meet soon, at the fact that I am not doing anything productive right now, at my lack of efficiency when it comes to time, at people, at myself.

And I just want to take a piece of paper, take a pen and scribble really hard on it and jam the pen on the paper making dots and holes and constructing grammatically wrong sentences and then scrunching the paper up into a horrible deformed ball while shouting and then throwing the paper as far as I can and then getting really frustrated at the fact that the distorted ball of paper I just threw with all my might didn't even go really far and I will feel like that's some sort of analogy of my life about how I try and not get results so I go pick the paper up again, flatten it out and fold a paper plane with hopes that it will fly better and further this time and I throw it again but yet this time, it just goes completely off track not even towards the general direction I was throwing at because I can't even remember how to frecking fold paper plans anymore which will then make me feel completely and utterly useless and helpless and I look for a corner to crawl into and cry but I'll soon realise that there isn't even an available corner in my room or the house where I can cry so I'll just lie on bed. 

Longest sentence I've ever written. I had to lock punctuation out of the house for a while. But stop all your panicking, I've invited it back in and it's sitting on the couch right now.

Hah this is ironic.

Due to constant statements by couple of friends on how my blog's been left for spiders to secrete silk from their behinds to form a web, I've been meaning to blog.

In mind, I had two things to blog about.

1. My summer hols (I even have a draft from before school started, might publish it)

2. My birthday celebration (probably will get to that cause I feel the need to address my appreciation to all my amazing friends)

And they were both positive topics too!

But nohp! I somehow ended up talking about paper planes instead. I really need to fold proper ones though. Fcking things.

I think right now, what I need is sleep.

So sleep I shall.

World Spins Madly On

VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVICED. Only read the following if you're aged 1 and below.
Lotsa love to you babies. Unless you're gonna grow up to be one of those annoying pampered ones who cry everytime they don't get something. If you are, I hope you get sent to the army at age 3.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

So I was clearing my room and I tumbled onto alot of things that reminded me of us and how we used to be.
Then again, so many other things have been reminding me of us.
and I miss that. Us.
But the thing is, I retrace my steps and I don't know what would I have done differently.

Miss the feeling of comfort every time I spoke to you.
and all the crap you gave me when you made fun of me (:
Really wish it was possible for us to be friends now.
But I know I can't always have it my way. I can't break us up and ask to be friends. That's pretty damn unfair and alot to ask for.

The corniness of the following sentences is gonna be overwhelming.
I guess what I fear the most now is that you've lost hope in love.
That's gonna make me feel ultimately crappy cause love was what you made me believe in in the first place.

I don't regret anything we've done and I still believe that I meant everything I've said throughout the 4 years we were together.
I don't know what goes through your mind when you look back at us.
Some part of me thinks it's along the lines of GAHH and anger and hurt.
But I really hope it's anything but regret.

Maybe our paths will cross again, maybe not.
But when I look back at all the times we had, I'll definitely smile.
Cause I think we had a really good run and I'm so glad to have had you for 4 very important years of my life.
(:

I know you don't read my blog but it somehow gives me some sort of comfort writing out like this.
Well.
Take care of yourself & I really hope you find happiness, Adrian Tan.